Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Journey to Wife, Part 2 of 6

Journey to Wife

Wife. Or would it be wife2? Nope, it’s Wife 2.0. Yeah, that’s what I’ll call it. I’ll start with the path to Wife 2.0.

The first time I got married I was 19 when we became engaged. I had a good head on my shoulders, I was smart, I was advanced or mature for my age. I didn’t think it was too young to be getting married, but of course if I knew then what I know now...I wasn’t a believer then, but I still took my vows seriously. Divorce wasn’t an option in my mind. 15 years later my husband felt otherwise (well the trouble started way before that, it just took him that long to take action) and had an affair. I had been a believer for a few years at this point and ironically was on my way to a huge prayer event the day I found out. On the drive there with a friend I told her I was done. At the event I clearly felt God telling me otherwise. I stayed for 2 more years, doing everything I felt I should to encourage forgiveness and reconciliation. Why do I tell you this? I’m not really sure! Maybe to lead into the fact that once it was over I gave a lot of thought to what I would do differently this time. After all, I was now 36, a believer and still holding on to dreams yet to be fulfilled.

I dated a lot of guys looking for the one that God had been preparing for me. By the time I met Tony I was pretty much done dating. I was tired of looking. I used a lot of the online dating services (maybe another post!) and was generally unsatisfied with the results. I tried the singles group at church. I didn’t really know any of the people there, but one woman leaned over and said, “Some people are single for a season and some are single for a reason.” I think the room was filled with men who were single for a reason! I couldn’t just give up though-I didn’t want to be single and I still hadn’t had children! I felt God had given me the desire so I must have just been rushing ahead. Not long after “giving up” I got a lengthy email from some guy at match.com. He said he’d been reading profiles for hours now and mine was the first to cause him to take out his wallet and sign up so that he could contact me. “Oh really? So what do you like about my profile?” I thought to myself. My smile. OK, good. Something else that escapes my memory, and then he states that he was attracted to my boldness in proclaiming my faith and seeking a like minded husband. Now it’s getting interesting! Let’s check this profile out! No picture. Ooops. One of my rules was no picture, no dice. He did have an interesting writing style though, let’s read some more. Age: 47. What?? I’m only 38 and my profile says I won’t date anyone over 40! See that part down there under “children”? The part where it says I want to have some? Well my experience said guys that age aren’t interested in having babies. Two strikes for “romensitivitist”. You know what happens at 3...
Well, something led me to reply. Only my subscription had expired and I wasn’t going to pay for a renewal. I winked at him for free. No response. Winked again. Nothing. Is this strike 3? I received email offering me a free 3 day trial to come back. Is this a sign? OK, took advantage of free trial and emailed him, telling him how he could reach me outside of match.com. Nothing. Over a week has passed since this guy said he liked my profile enough to pay for a subscription. What happened to him? Oh well, just like all the other endings. Bad.
Checking email one day at work (yeah, I did that) I see an unfamiliar address. It’s Mr Disapper. He’s had his kids for Christmas break and they were traveling. Uh huh, sure! Oh well, why not give him a chance? We arranged to meet the following afternoon at South Mountain for a hike. He sent a picture so I’d know who to look for. Not bad! Is he really 47? He looked even younger in person and I thought maybe I was hiking with the wrong person! Our competitive traits came out and we both hiked faster than was comfortable. We were out for two and a half hours. Oh, by the way it was New Year’s Eve, 2004. As we got closer to the parking lot he asked if I’d be willing to join him for dinner if he could rustle up reservations this late in the day on NYE. I’d had a good time hiking with him, so why not? I gave him my phone number and went home to rest (I had shin splints, that’s a whole other series!) while waiting to see what would happen. He called a little later and had reservations at Outback. He picked me up an hour later and we headed off for dinner. I like my steaks medium rare, but the waitress said that the cooks were sending things out too rare and I should go with medium. I let her talk me into it. Tony ordered prime rib and it came out nice and pink, while my steak was more like medium well! He saw it and offered me his dinner. That’s all I needed-I was hooked from that moment forward!